{"id":2018,"date":"2012-04-11T23:19:24","date_gmt":"2012-04-11T23:19:24","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/filmgaze.com\/blog\/?p=2018"},"modified":"2012-04-11T23:40:54","modified_gmt":"2012-04-11T23:40:54","slug":"battleship","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/filmgaze.com\/blog\/action\/battleship\/","title":{"rendered":"Battleship ***"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a>Love it or hate it; John Carter<\/em> star\u00a0Taylor Kitsch<\/a> is here to stay, and even though his latest movie, Battleship<\/em><\/a>, is monumentally moronic, there is still a huge amount of over-the-top, double entendre theatrics and bombastic action to giggle gleefully at. The added draw for some of director Peter Berg<\/a>\u2019s (hopefully) satirical ode to all recent sci-fi action movies will be pop star\u00a0Rihanna<\/a> or perhaps True Blood<\/em>\u2019s man mountain Alexander Skarsg\u00e5rd<\/a>? Either way, Battleship<\/em> goes forth with all guns blazin\u2019 to bring down an alien enemy and any shred of credibility.<\/p>\n

The plot is a simple one: based on Hasbro\u2019s board game of the same name, Battleship<\/em> sees US Navy brothers Stone (Skarsg\u00e5rd) and Alex (Kitsch) Hopper on exercise off the coast of Hawaii when a bunch of alien invaders fall to Earth \u2013 and into the ocean in front of them, causing an almighty battle of wits to commence. Meanwhile, hothead Alex\u2019s girlfriend Sam (former model Brooklyn Decker<\/a>) \u2013\u00a0who happens to be the Admiral\u2019s (played by Liam Neeson<\/a>) drop-dead gorgeous daughter \u2013\u00a0is helping a US Navy paraplegic physio patient climb a mountain that happens to hold the satellite dishes the aliens need to make contact with their planet to send reinforcements. Oh, and Pearl Harbour comes into the picture at some point, as does the USS Missouri\u2026<\/p>\n

Berg makes no apologies for the hilariously clich\u00e9d script and sci-fi rip-offs \u2013\u00a0and the Hasbro Toys brand benefits from more mileage out of the Transformers<\/em>\u2019 replication. In fact, you could be forgiven for thinking that you\u2019ve stumbled on Michael Bay\u2019s next robots film \u2013\u00a0minus Optimus Prime and Megatron \u2013 as there are some nifty metal carvers that make metal mincemeat out of anything that stands in their way. The same frenetic balls of edited colour and metal body parts litter the frame, and some of the near-death misses are utterly preposterous. But, this is full-throttle thrill-seeking destruction to gloriously behold, as well as a heavy dose of macho phallic symbolism and camp admiration for military might. It\u2019s all seriously daft fun.<\/p>\n

The \u2018acting\u2019 in the loosest terms merely pays lip service to remind us that there are in fact humans involved among the carnage, and to clearly define the good guys verses \u2018the bad guys\u2019 (the aliens \u2013 who are out to rape our resources). One scene in particular that is the only true tension mounter is an actual game of Battleships between the Navy and the aliens. This allows us pause for breath to rally behind our odd collection of screen heroes that include Kitsch,\u00a0Tadanobu Asano<\/a> as a Japanese commander and RiRi as ball-busting Petty Officer Raikes \u2013 a mumbled feature debut, but one that has the singer looking mean in the firing hot seat. Kitsch demonstrates once more that he has got more than it takes to lead the folly in such a film and is a likeable action hero who ticks all the boxes.<\/p>\n

Expect to be blindly entertained and thrown from pillar to post \u2013 thankfully, not while wearing 3D specs, plus don\u2019t take anything too literally. If you can suspend disbelief, you\u2019ll find Battleship<\/em> simply tongue-in-cheek dumb, booming fun full of cum with some of the worst lines in recent screen history to relish that will have you cry, “no, seriously?”<\/p>\n

3\/5 stars<\/strong><\/p>\n

By @FilmGazer<\/p>\n

Follow on Twitter<\/a><\/p>\n

Watch the trailer HERE<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Love it or hate it; John Carter star\u00a0Taylor Kitsch is here to stay, and even though his latest movie, Battleship, is monumentally moronic, there is still a huge amount of over-the-top, double entendre theatrics and bombastic action to giggle gleefully at. The added draw for some of director Peter Berg\u2019s (hopefully) satirical ode to all … <\/p>\n

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