{"id":3357,"date":"2014-11-13T23:43:17","date_gmt":"2014-11-13T23:43:17","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/filmgaze.com\/blog\/?p=3357"},"modified":"2014-11-13T23:43:17","modified_gmt":"2014-11-13T23:43:17","slug":"nativity-3-dude-wheres-my-donkey","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/filmgaze.com\/blog\/comedy\/nativity-3-dude-wheres-my-donkey\/","title":{"rendered":"Nativity 3: Dude, Where’s My Donkey?! *"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"Nativity3\"<\/a><\/p>\n

They say bad things come in threes. When it comes to writer-director Debbie Isitt\u2019s third Nativity<\/em> film, things go from bad to worse. True, Dude, Where\u2019s My Donkey?!<\/em> is geared towards adult-chaperoned kiddies ready for a cheeky pre-festive giggle \u2013 and Mr Poppy (Marc Wootton) and his donkey Archie are back (again) to oblige, like an annoying panto duo long past its prime.<\/p>\n

The pull for the older crowd this time seems to be Martin Clunes and Catherine Tate, with Celia Imrie thrown in for chaotic measure. Whereas the latter plays adequately to type as the harassed new headmistress, all the former does is throw doubt as to their mental capacity at the time of accepting the roles. Do not expect a play on Doc Martin grumpiness, or anything like a Tate comedic treat.<\/p>\n

Also, think \u2018musical\u2019 rather than kiddie comedy as at every available opportunity things burst into (irritating) song, usually led by one of the oldest junior school pupils ever seen. By the way, this braces-wearing teen \u2018starlet\u2019 is absent from some promotional posters, a massive slap in the face for someone tasked with kicking off each musical rendition with such enthusiasm.<\/p>\n

St Bernadette\u2019s needs help again to stay open (someone must be paying off Ofsted). After taking the kids to the local shopping centre, man-child Mr Poppy comes up with a great idea; enter a flash mob dance competition headed up by pop star Bradley Finch (Adam Garcia) and win a trip to New York. Hence this will show what a great school St Bernadette\u2019s is that it can\u2019t possibly be closed. There\u2019s only one hurdle in the shape of new headmistress Mrs Keen (Imrie) who wants unqualified supply teacher Poppy gone and the school returned to order.<\/p>\n

Along comes new teacher Mr Shepherd (Clunes) to step into Poppy\u2019s place. With the big clown still haunting the school premises, Shepherd begrudgingly agrees to Poppy\u2019s flash mob theory but then gets kicked in the head by accident by Archie the Donkey and loses his memory. He can\u2019t even remember his own cute daughter, Lauren (Lauren Hobbs, the only star quality), or his fianc\u00e9, Sophie (Tate) who is waiting in New York to marry him. Poppy and kids decide to help get Shepherd\u2019s memory back and win the competition.<\/p>\n

Bah! Humbug! Yes, it\u2019s like putting the boot into a local kid\u2019s school nativity play when the little poppets are merely trying their best but are consistently upstaged by Mr Poppy\u2019s idiocy. As creepy as a grown man preferring the company of kids is, Wootton\u2019s portrayal is no more cringing than that of Cbeebies\u2019 Justin \u2013 but at least the latter is educational in his entertainment. What becomes rapidly tiresome is the pairing of Wootton and Clunes as a pair of fools, resorting to fart jokes to get laughs \u2013 however curious it is witnessing Clunes in colourful jeans. There is no expected playoff of Poppy\u2019s \u2018innocence\u2019 against a Doc Martin haughtiness that is perhaps expected by older viewers.<\/p>\n

Tate as Sophie spends most of the time stressing on a phone, marooned in a NYC hotel for virtually the entire film, then being dolled up like the Christmas tree fairy for various dance scenes and the predictable Xmas wedding. In fact, returning character, the evil Gordon Shakespeare, played by Jason Watkins seems to come into his camp own this time around, leading his well-bred troupe into a \u2018Gangnam Style\u2019 flash mob dance that is one of the only entertaining musical pieces. Title tune, Dude, Where\u2019s My Donkey?! is not. Tuneless but catchy, it has the same effect as watching any kid\u2019s panto performance \u2013 one being encouragingly supportive but enduring bum notes through gritted teeth.<\/p>\n

As things get sillier and parents begin to wonder why they put their kids through this (this parent included), Archie makes a final appearance \u2013 as does the rest of the cast \u2013\u00a0up the top of a famous Big Apple landmark. Bizarre is not the half of it. But if all else fails, just sing along to disguise what an ass the whole sorry thing is. Note to director: look up the true meaning of \u2018flash mob\u2019 too.<\/p>\n

1\/5 stars<\/strong><\/p>\n

By @FilmGazer<\/p>\n

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