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Relax folks, it\u2019s Michael Bay<\/a> back again for the fifth time to assault our senses. Go into Transformers: The Last Night<\/em><\/a> with this in mind, and the outcome isn\u2019t as painful as you might expect. There is less mangled mental in colourful whirl than in previous films \u2013 and this one is mildly better than the last. Indeed, love or hate him, Bay is a master at crafting an action blockbuster for the supersized screen, which is why people come back for more. It\u2019s got nothing to do with plot and character development.<\/p>\n Action stalwart Mark Wahlberg<\/a> returns for more of a beating as engineer and \u2018inventor\u2019 Cade Yeager who is in hiding from the Transformers Reaction Force, a military-run operation tasked with ridding the planet of Transformers. Yeager has a few hiding out in his scrap metal yard, including Bumblebee, right-hand robot to the Autobot\u2019s leader, Optimus Prime (who keeps telling us he\u2019s \u2018Optimus Prime\u2019 throughout, in case we missed it).<\/p>\n The latter is forced against his will to find the key \u2013 something to do with mythical wizard Merlin – to bringing Prime\u2019s dead home planet, Cybertron, back to life, while Megatron and his Decepticons wait to destroy him and his crew. The problem is, in bringing Cybertron back, Earth must perish. It\u2019s up to Yeager, an English history professor (Laura Haddock<\/a>) and their allies (including Anthony Hopkins<\/a> as Sir Edmund Burton, Josh Duhamel<\/a> as ever embattled Colonel William Lennox and John Turturro<\/a> as the exiled but returning Agent Simmons) to save our planet.<\/p>\n In a similar vein to the Fast and Furious<\/em><\/a> franchise \u2013 both boast machines, babes and gravity-defying stunts (for humans), Transformers still fills cinema seats. The answer is in the easily digestible format as listed. You can switch off and go \u2018oooo and ahhh\u2019 at the spectacle, like being on an overpriced rollercoaster seat \u2013 and it affects the eyeballs too. If that\u2019s not your bag, it isn\u2019t going to delight or get any better. In fact, it\u2019s going to be painful. That is where the problem lies in critics expecting greater things from Bay \u2013 he actually gives you what you crave in terms of an action blockbuster fix, nothing else.<\/p>\n Transformers<\/em> is an utterly daft franchise, made crazier this time in The Last Knight<\/em> by the excruciating upper-class English caricatures that are both ridiculous and unrealistic \u2013 much like its battle scenes. It always prompts much head scratching when humans believe firing rounds of bullets and rockets at superior alien life forms would eliminate the threat. Eventually they hit the bullseye, after some bright spark figures out how to.<\/p>\n The fact that writers Art Marcum<\/a>, Matt Holloway<\/a> and Ken Nolan<\/a> believe linking the kingdom of Camelot and the Knights of the Round Table to the Transformers<\/em>\u2019 history is farcical in itself \u2013 like a last bid attempt at making the story franchise credible. If you can absorb and overcome this absurdity, it\u2019s even more entertainingly silly to watch \u2013 a fact the cast seem to have grasped.<\/p>\n Wahlberg is designed for such films, returning for more. His character is always agreeable, testosterone-fuelled and smart-mouthed enough to get you on side. Like Fast and Furious<\/em>, there are some nice motors to ogle too \u2013 in addition to pouty Haddock who is a Megan Fox<\/a> clone, however unfair that is to the Brit actress. There is also the (frankly) pointless casting of young Isabela Moner<\/a> as \u2018Transformer protector\u2019 Izabella, perhaps for the younger audience, but sinisterly \u2018over sexed\u2019 (and pouty) to set off parents\u2019 alarm bells of 12 year-olds. Again, it\u2019s Bay\u2019s Fox obsession filtering through\u2026<\/p>\n Transformers: The Last Night (3D)<\/em> \u2013 seen in 3D but not necessary to be \u2013 is much of the same with a plot out of a Dan Brown<\/a> novel, if you think of the secret society aspect. The familiar faces slog on to the last; indeed, the ending points to installment six. Yes, another Transformer<\/em> siege is in the planning, and if you haven\u2019t got fatigue already, there\u2019s a Bumblebee spin-off too. If that grates by the end of this film, Optimus Prime telling us he\u2019s, well, Optimus Prime, then be prepared for the onslaught of the bleedin\u2019 obvious in round six. You just can\u2019t keep a Transformer down, it seems.<\/p>\n 2\/5 stars<\/strong><\/p>\n By @FilmGazer<\/p>\n