Goddess **

“Odd” does not begin to describe this film from Babe: Pig in the City writer Mark Lamprell. It’s not he story, per se, which seems remotely tangible and will initially strike a chord with many a former-career-woman-cum-stay-at-home-mum. But just who it’s targeting exactly remains a mystery, as it seems to suggest us women can’t expect to have it all, so be content with rearing the sprogs you’ve chosen to bring into the world.

Disguising this alarming ‘moral’ behind some music and the promise of Ronan Keating half-undressed (throughout over half of his scenes) in his debut screen role just doesn’t cut the mustard, frankly. Goddess initially conjures fantasies of another quirky, camp Australian smash hit like Strictly Ballroom, pre-viewing, but it just isn’t in the same league, however comical and entertaining some moments are.

Elspeth Davies (musical stage star Laura Michelle Kelly) is an English mum-of-two married to whale marine biologist James (Keating), now living the isolated country life in Tasmania, Australia. The other local mums aren’t that friendly and don’t involve her in their social activities, and James is always away. She often goes into daydream mode about her former life as a singer, recreating scenarios to keep her sane. Then James buys Elspeth a webcam so they can chat while he’s away at sea.

However, Elspeth soon finds James is not around much, so turns the camera on her, sending her ‘kitchen sink’ song-and-dance performances out there online. Her following grows and her routines are discovered by a city ad agency run by the dominant Cassandra Wolfe (Magda Szubanski) who wants her to be the ‘Goddess’ face of a new laptop range for women. However, Elspeth needs to be present and fully committed, requiring her to come to the city. In a quandary, though suddenly finding her voice, Elspeth realises there is a price to pay for ‘wanting it all’.

It’s the lingering moral that knocks this film’s rating, sadly. Kelly is (reluctantly) very likeable, however irritatingly bouncy and sickly sweet Elspeth is most of the time – there is a dark side though, thankfully. The scenes with the other mums are very familiar, adding that ‘ugly sisters’ element to what is effectively a present-day Cinderella tale where the fairy-tale goal is not love but the career. Whether Kelly can act is still debatable, but her singing and dancing can’t be faulted. Keating doesn’t have to ‘act’ as such, getting away with a lot in a debut role by merely showing some buffed flesh then doing a lone ‘Titanic’ number on the bow of a ship in one of the cheesiest scenarios this film has to offer.

Wolfe comes into her own as a larger-than-life caricature of fairy-tale proportions but again, surprisingly, is not as two-dimensional as you first think. That said her character, allowed to lazily perpetuate the myth that female success equals showing flesh in the ad world, is a little disappointing (however true the situation). It’s perhaps the fact that the film does not offer up a savoury solution to the ultimate female dilemma of ‘kids vs career’ that can’t redeem the whole thing and mars the enjoyment factor.

In this respect, the promise of a fun musical story of modern-day pressures of motherhood gets lost in latter-day sexist thinking. If Lamprell is being tongue-in-cheek about the latter, it doesn’t translate well enough to bring out the true ‘inner goddess’ of this film.

2/5 stars

By @FilmGazer

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