Ted ****
Those not a fan of Family Guy and Seth MacFarlane’s made-to-shock humour will find Ted a live-action/part-animated version of much the same crudity and unedited commentary from the writer-director-star. However, those who can happily tune into MacFarlane’s mockery of entrenched stereotypes will find a lot of idiotic bromance fun to Ted – plus the introduction of another unforgettable character that just says it how it is in a world so tied up in political correctness red tape it hurts.
Lonely kid John Bennett (Mark Wahlberg) once wished for a companion then he got a teddy bear for Christmas. As luck would have it, wishing at the right time on a shooting star made his wish come true overnight. Now a grown man John must deal with his boozing, smoking, womanising best friend Ted the bear (voiced by MacFarlane). The trouble is John’s sweetheart Lori (Mila Kunis) has had enough of their bromance and wants John to chose: her or the bear?
It’s a simple fact something so cute and cuddly looking that could be so foul-mouthed and full of faux pas is naturally funny: This is the seal of appeal of Ted the bear – like when a small, cute child says a naughty word picked up from its elders. Ted is rather like a combination of Family Guy’s male characters rolled into one, but that’s as far as that analogy goes. The central theme to this film is the mundane life of two dope-smoking, beer-swilling wash-ups putting what they see as the ‘wrongs’ of the world and injustices of having to grow up to right – just substitute one human waster for a beastial one.
Where Ted may disappoint MacFarlane fans is some of the jokes are not as clever or politically topical as in Family Guy: This time MacFarlane has gone for frat boy, smutty, banal stuff on the one hand, or ‘Bill and Ted’ dopey remarks on the other. Plus some of the ‘gags’ – like Ted’s visiting whore leaving a personal present in the living room – just make you pull a face if nothing else. There is also a rather weird and distracting subplot of a Ted-obsessed, white trash fanatic called Donny (Giovanni Ribisi) and his son that only seems to be there to re-emphasise John and Ted’s lifelong bond and highlight some 80s pop culture, even though underused Ribisi is suitably creepy once more. Indeed, the height of bromance would not be complete without the token idol appearance that defines the relationship: Flash Gordon – aka Sam J. Jones himself – being as like-minded as our anti-heroes while proving he’s worthy of their worship.
However, although a hand-full of the jokes are not up to par at times, Ted is still damn entertaining with some hilarious observational humour and throwaway lines interwoven among the ‘offensive’ stereotyping. It’s these that making John and Ted’s bromance so ‘real’ and ultimately endearing to watch, as they face the ups and downs of adult life that’s determined to throw spanners in the works of their relationship, resulting in the critical finale. Wahlberg also does your average ‘loser’ so effortlessly well, by playing it with a big generous heart that nicely compliments Kunis’s prissy, responsible Lori in the story as the ‘voice of reason’.
Much like Family Guy and Marmite, you’ll either love Ted or hate it – it certainly won’t convert the anti-MacFarlane brigade. This critic saw it minus the help of a few ‘Brewskies’ and would have straight-talking Ted over for a sofa slouch any night of the week to chew over life’s ironic imperfections – something MacFarlane merely flags and relays in in-your-face humour.
4/5 stars
By @FilmGazer
