Battleship ***

Love it or hate it; John Carter star Taylor Kitsch is here to stay, and even though his latest movie, Battleship, is monumentally moronic, there is still a huge amount of over-the-top, double entendre theatrics and bombastic action to giggle gleefully at. The added draw for some of director Peter Berg’s (hopefully) satirical ode to all recent sci-fi action movies will be pop star Rihanna or perhaps True Blood’s man mountain Alexander Skarsgård? Either way, Battleship goes forth with all guns blazin’ to bring down an alien enemy and any shred of credibility.

The plot is a simple one: based on Hasbro’s board game of the same name, Battleship sees US Navy brothers Stone (Skarsgård) and Alex (Kitsch) Hopper on exercise off the coast of Hawaii when a bunch of alien invaders fall to Earth – and into the ocean in front of them, causing an almighty battle of wits to commence. Meanwhile, hothead Alex’s girlfriend Sam (former model Brooklyn Decker) – who happens to be the Admiral’s (played by Liam Neeson) drop-dead gorgeous daughter – is helping a US Navy paraplegic physio patient climb a mountain that happens to hold the satellite dishes the aliens need to make contact with their planet to send reinforcements. Oh, and Pearl Harbour comes into the picture at some point, as does the USS Missouri…

Berg makes no apologies for the hilariously clichéd script and sci-fi rip-offs – and the Hasbro Toys brand benefits from more mileage out of the Transformers’ replication. In fact, you could be forgiven for thinking that you’ve stumbled on Michael Bay’s next robots film – minus Optimus Prime and Megatron – as there are some nifty metal carvers that make metal mincemeat out of anything that stands in their way. The same frenetic balls of edited colour and metal body parts litter the frame, and some of the near-death misses are utterly preposterous. But, this is full-throttle thrill-seeking destruction to gloriously behold, as well as a heavy dose of macho phallic symbolism and camp admiration for military might. It’s all seriously daft fun.

The ‘acting’ in the loosest terms merely pays lip service to remind us that there are in fact humans involved among the carnage, and to clearly define the good guys verses ‘the bad guys’ (the aliens – who are out to rape our resources). One scene in particular that is the only true tension mounter is an actual game of Battleships between the Navy and the aliens. This allows us pause for breath to rally behind our odd collection of screen heroes that include Kitsch, Tadanobu Asano as a Japanese commander and RiRi as ball-busting Petty Officer Raikes – a mumbled feature debut, but one that has the singer looking mean in the firing hot seat. Kitsch demonstrates once more that he has got more than it takes to lead the folly in such a film and is a likeable action hero who ticks all the boxes.

Expect to be blindly entertained and thrown from pillar to post – thankfully, not while wearing 3D specs, plus don’t take anything too literally. If you can suspend disbelief, you’ll find Battleship simply tongue-in-cheek dumb, booming fun full of cum with some of the worst lines in recent screen history to relish that will have you cry, “no, seriously?”

3/5 stars

By @FilmGazer

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Watch the trailer HERE

This Must Be The Place ***

Writer-director Paolo Sorrentino’s new film This Must Be The Place is a far cry from the tense political drama Il divo (2008) – in fact it’s the complete reverse; a soothing journey with a dark purpose that awakens its curious lead from his hypnotic slumber. It’s a strangely alluring piece of filmmaking as its not clear how things will pan out, and actor Sean Penn plays one of the most sedate characters to date but who has a capacity to rupture into something altogether different.

Bored, retired rock star called Cheyenne (Penn), who is married to Irish fight fighter Jane (Frances McDormand) and lives a quiet life in Dublin, receives a phone call that his Jewish father is ill. He sets out to find his father’s executioner, an ex-Nazi war criminal who is a refugee in the US, and so starts a self-reflective journey.

Apart from Penn’s fascinating transformation into a haunting cross between The Cure’s Robert Smith and Edward Scissorhands, it’s the film’s striking cinematography by Luca Bigazzi that captures the dramatic mood, palette and landscape scenes, including the crystal blue of Penn’s eyes, implying a soul still very much alive in the rocker’s shell.

Cheyenne is the kind of character you will either be instantly drawn to or not – there is no middle ground. Thankfully, it was the former – or the rest of the film doesn’t work and will feel like a drag. Penn’s sensitive, childlike portrayal is both crushingly touching and tragic; you want to first dismiss Cheyenne’s disinterest as petulant teen behaviour and conveniently pigeon hole him as the spoilt ex star, bored by his trappings of fame. However, it becomes very clear through his whimpering limited responses that he has not given up on life, but that he is mature enough to carefully choose his words, as he’s fully aware of their impact – and he is trying to find purpose in his solitude.

There is a delightful contradictory character to compliment Cheyenne’s despondent mood, his rock, Jane, played by McDormand. Sorrentino said he only saw the actress in the role, and it’s clear that this small but crucially significant maternal part was made for McDormand. Through her responses we are given a sense that there is more to invest in Cheyenne and his curious behaviour, so we are drawn in to discover more. It’s actually her presence that injects a playful quirkiness into the whole affair, and the idea that a rock star falls for a fire fighter is also an analogy for Jane being Cheyenne’s protector from the outside world. In fact, Cheyenne’s closeted, immature existence is highlighted by his trips to the local shopping centre to hang out with young Goth fan, Mary (Eve Hewson), and discuss teen issues like her love life over a café drink.

The phone call then exposes Cheyenne to the outside world, and like a man coming of age again, he leaves his solitude and experiences real life and its bumpy road, but always at his own beguiling pace of action. It’s this pace that you need to commit to, to fully appreciate the visuals and atmosphere at work – bizarrely, annoyingly punctuated by the wheels on Cheyenne’s suitcase. It is here that the film feels a little lost when it has its most plot-worthy purpose, mimicking elements of other road movies, motel scenes and poignant music scores, and feels like an excuse to do so by Sorrentino to make his very own homage to the genre with an eccentric, out-of-place lead.

The final confrontational scene is sensitively realised and poetically handled – especially as the use of the Holocaust to incite emotion in such a melancholy character could have been mistreated. It still feels like a curious, if uneasy premise for a road movie though, but Sorrentino’s flawed and seemingly innocent characters’ self-reflective take goes to render this more palatable. Penn’s performance may be understated in this, unlike his previous outspoken roles, but as Cheyenne he is just as stirring and memorable.

3/5 stars

By @FilmGazer

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Titanic (3D) ***

Our fascination with the last few hours onboard the doomed 1912 passenger liner Titanic and its now eerie, watery grave – to quote Celine Dion – “will go on and on and on”. James Cameron took this then moulded it into a classic love story for the big screen back in 1997, and the film and its young stars, Kate Winslet and Leonardo Di Caprio, encapsulated the emotions of hope, fear and determination. The story itself is still as powerful and goose-pimply as the first time and simply made for big-screen viewing.

Everyone knows the ending – Titanic sinks, but for the uninitiated, this is actually a story of love crossing the class divide as the urge to live outweighs any social boundaries. In this sense, the success of Downtown Abbey, Upstairs Downstairs and the latest Titanic TV series by Downtown Abbey creator Julian Fellowes follow a similar pattern; exploring class distinctions within one environment. And in every social circle there are the good characters and the bad ones – the latter we revel in seeing them get their comeuppance. Cameron’s timeless love story is no exception. It does paint a rather near-perfect and rose-tinted picture in its path, but its daydream potential should never be underestimated.

The 2D film was shot for its wow factor wides to show the enormity and scale of the disaster, so the addition of 3D does little more than create some depth at times, but hardly adds anything dynamic to the frame where you most expect it. There would be a sinking feeling, if the tragedy unfolding wasn’t captivating you. Still, first-timers will get a greater sense of the grand scale of the event and Titanic herself, which isn’t a bad thing. Bizarrely, watching this time around didn’t seem as much of a marathon – possibly as this reviewer is older (and wiser, hopefully) so has more stamina to endure the 194 minutes. It was also rather nostalgic viewing and targeted the old romantic inside.

Regardless of mixed views on feeding the Cameron 3D crusade by paying more to see something old a second time around, Titanic is simply one of 20th century cinema’s greatest, old-fashioned love stories, full of still impressive effects (pre 3D) and decent, if theatrical acting – with fashion crimes committed by Bill Paxton. But is that a bad thing to reinvest in?

3/5 stars

By @FilmGazer

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La Grande Illusion ****

La Grande Illusion is Jean Renoir’s poetic 1937 anti-war masterpiece that triumphs international unity while poignantly and good-heartedly mocks man’s egotistical obsession with gaining power. It has some genre-defining performances from Jean Gabin and Pierre Fresnay that surely influenced later, like-minded films, such as those of The Great Escape, Catch 22 etc. It also quirkily explores war as the ultimate class leveller, doing away with conventional social barriers and creating newer, temporary (if irrelevant) ones, making for a fascinating and witty dynamic filled with contemporary value.

During the First World War, two French airmen – wealthy aristocratic officer De Boeldieu (Fresnay) and smart working-class Lt. Maréchal (Gabin) – are shot down and captured while taking photos in German territory and imprisoned in a German POW camp. Here, they meet and befriend other prisoners, including Jewish banker Rosenthal (Marcel Dalio), all watched by eccentric commander Von Rauffenstein (Erich von Stroheim), who takes an immediate liking to de Boeldieu as someone of his same social class in peace time. Several escape attempts followas the eclectic bunch digging their way out until they are sent to a seemingly impenetrable fortress.

Renoir allows each memorable and beautifully shot scene to unfold in front of his lens as his characters playfully dissect idiosyncrasies while avoiding any political angle. They created a social ideal within a time of strife, allowing pause for reflection on society’s ingrained cultural, religious and justice systems – as Maréchal and Rosenthal’s idyllic mountainside encounter with a young wife and child depict. To coin a political phrase, “back to basics”, Renoir inadvertently questions the structure we have created, ironically born out of war.

Indeed, the film’s sterling performances combined with the illuminating and searching cinematography allow the discussions to flow effortlessly, as well as the tone and pace of the film’s various parts. In a way, it is a directing masterpiece that encompasses the micro and macro issues affecting all, simultaneously relaying the emotions the individuals experience among the witty one-liners. And the characters are Renoir’s primary asset that manipulate the atmosphere they find themselves in and propel the narrative forward.

La Grande Illusion is a timeless classic of acting and filmmaking genius that uses the artificiality of war to explore the very construct of society, and is a classic must-see.

4/5 stars

By @FilmGazer

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LFF 2011: Headhunters *****

Norwegian actor Aksel Hennie is the ultimate, contemporary cinematic scoundrel in director Morten Tyldum’s electric crime thriller Headhunters as Roger, the country’s most accomplished corporate headhunter. Like a young Christopher Walken in looks, temperament and acting prowess, Hennie is a truly exciting revelation to discover and took 2011’s London Film Festival by storm.

Roger has it all: luxurious lifestyle, stunning and smart wife Diana (Synnøve Macody Lund) and a high-flying career. But it’s not enough, and he conceals a dark alter ego. When his art dealer wife introduces him to handsome businessman Clas Greve (Nikolaj Coster-Waldau) – a former deadly mercenary – who is in possession of an extremely valuable painting, he decides to risk it all to get his hands on it, and in doing, discovers something which makes him a hunted man.

Writers Lars Gudmestad and Ulf RybergBased have beautifully lifted Jo Nesbø’s 2008 best-selling thriller off the page, and in conjunction with Tyldm’s concise directing style, created a stylish, smart and energising thriller that gathers momentum and never lags for a second. The clinical and confident action scenes give way to self-depreciating, subtle humour, making Roger a delightful contradiction of raw emotions at any one moment.

Set up to covet Roger’s glossy magazine existence while being equally appalled by his lack of morals and resounding greed, we grow to respect his survival tactics and Hennie’s talents. The actor gradually transforms Roger from despicable hunter to the vulnerable hunted, without ever fully revealing the character’s true motivation – except the obvious, money. Tyldum makes sure we never figure out exactly how Roger ticks either, hence keeps his lead fresh and enigmatic. The director also delivers many surprises along the way to further introduce tension and thrills, including the breath-stopping crash scene and Hannibal Lecter moment that follows.

In contrast to Roger’s somewhat quirky appearance, this Scandinavian affair isn’t without its standard beauties in newcomer Lund and chiselled Coster-Waldau (Game of Thrones), reinforcing the cool, sophisticated Nordic appeal that fascinates us non-residents. Another charm of Scandinavian cinema is how unordered the apparent order is as we are given the opportunity to delve into the ‘organised chaos’ such a thriller enters into.

Tyldum’s highly accomplished and darkly comical thriller should be seen and savoured for its poise, pace and Hennie, as well as for its filmmaking techniques – even if its context feels a little déjà vu after the Girl With A Dragon Tattoo originals. Headhunters manages to fully engage for the full 100 minutes, which is a bold feat for any action thriller – let alone a subtitled one, probably because it also injects just the right level of humour to flesh out its lead character while following a frenetic path.

5/5 stars

By @FilmGazer

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Mirror Mirror **

The crux of the Snow White story is oddly missing in Tarsem Singh’s adaptation of the classic fairy-tale – namely the dominant power of the mirror that controls the destiny of all who stares into it. This cocky, camp modernization attempts a blend modern-day austerity/irony with family-friendly humour that doesn’t quite mesh. Its lead star Julia Roberts as the wicked stepmother is neither convincingly evil nor devishly funny, and spends the majority of the time merely looking smug at all her screen time – Singh has certainly got his A-list exposure for his money.

The story is a very 21st Century take on the fairy-tale: The wicked Queen (Roberts) has it all, taxing the poor to pay for her lavish parties and luxuries, but is forever unintentionally upstaged by her annoyingly beautiful and good-natured stepdaughter, Snow White (Phil Collins’s daughter Lily). As the Queen is verging on bankruptcy, a rich young prince called Prince Andrew Alcott (Armie Hammer loving every dashingly handsome second) happens upon her kingdom after being stripped of his possessions by vertically challenged bandits in the forest. The spoilt Queen sees her opportunity for some male arm candy while filling the palace coffers. But things don’t go to plan as Andrew falls for Snow White – or ‘Snow’ (very street). The peeved Queen banishes Snow to the forest to be disposed of by long-suffering courtier Brighton, played by Nathan Lane. Naturally, he isn’t up to the task, and Snow flees, taking refuge with the bandits – or Seven Dwarfs. They all hatch a plan to stop the spendthrift Queen and her upcoming nuptials, and reunite Snow with her rightful regal legacy – and one true love.

Singh has certainly created something different and contemporary with the context, jumping from compellingly dark Brothers Grimm setting to teenage angst tale to slapstick pantomime – largely when the film’s fool, Lane, is on screen. This inconsistent momentum is irksomely sown together by any excuse to feature Roberts in one grand costume design after another, who has to have the last fleeting word, upstaging the usually hilarious Lane’s Birdcage antics that he is loved for.

In fact, the only person who comes out of the Roberts adulation unscathed is Hammer who revels in every scene he is in, managing to carry the only truly funny running joke in the film that sees him half naked against his will most of the time. The Collins-Hammer pairing makes the snowy, magical setting sparkle, and is enough with the stunning design values to aptly entertain. That said, although you sympathise with the plight of the Snow White character from what you already know, there is an inconsistent character arc with Singh’s modern incarnation who transforms from radiant innocent one minute to jaded tomboy the next, all with a sense of urgency at making Snow appeal to contemporary ‘girl power’ expectations. Combined with a creepy dwarf’s Snow lusting, it all seems a little too realistic for fairy-tale comfort.

Still, with no 3D to contend with – only a nauseating excuse for the cast to jig away to a Bollywood bangra beat finale, Mirror Mirror may well be a magical muddle minus any real mirrored mystery, and make sure we all know Roberts is the fairest (and unfunniest) of them all, but it has its quaint charms and socio-political issues for the more savvy kid out there, tired of the usual bedtime story.

2/5 stars

By @FilmGazer

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Wrath of the Titans (3D)**

For a sequel bursting and ablaze with special effects and offering far better 3D this time around – as it wasn’t done haphazardly in post production, director Jonathan Liebesman’s take on Greek mythology is surprisingly bland. Unfortunately for him, it’s a combination of bland script and even blander lead in Sam Worthington. Worthington is like the Nigel Mansell of the acting world; performing adequately and a rather likeable chap but never setting the world (or screen) alight.

It’s as though Liebesman relies heavily on his effects to inject excitement into Wrath of the Titans (3D) as the rest is a confusing and often eye-torturous visual muddle that smacks of the hell-fire visuals of Lord of the Rings – and you expect Frodo to pop up at any second and save the day too.

In the sequel to Clash of the Titans, and a decade after his heroic defeat of the monstrous Kraken, demigod Perseus (Worthington), son of god Zeus (Liam Neeson), wants to live a quiet fisherman’s life with his son, Helius (John Bell). But a struggle for supremacy between the gods and the Titans and a weakening deity devotion from humanity sees a deadly alliance form between Perseus’s uncle Hades (Ralph Fiennes) and estranged brother Ares (Édgar Ramírez) to resurrect their ferocious leader, Kronos, father of the long-ruling brothers Zeus, Hades and Poseidon (Danny Huston).

After Poseidon’s death, Zeus is captured and his godly powers are siphoned to bring Kronos back from the dead. It is down to Perseus to save his father, the gods and humanity, with help from his wayward cousin, demigod Agenor (Toby Kebbell), Queen Andromeda (Rosamund Pike) and toolmaker to the gods Hephaestus (Bill Nighy), before the Titans’ strength grows stronger.

The sequel is all about its visual glory, and is perfectly suited to an IMAX screen for grand, eye-goggling effect. The downside to this is Liebesman’s choice of frenetic camerawork (by Ben Davis) in the first attack scene to depict utter chaos sets off a bout of motion sickness then has you playing catch-up afterwards as your sight attempts to return to normal. It’s near impossible to decipher any detail at this moment, which is a shame for getting a sense of the terror to come – and there are some interesting, two-headed beasts sent from the underworld to attack, but you have little time to register exactly what Perseus and townsfolk are up against before careering into the next shot.

The design in the film is pretty spectacular, recreating the earthy look and feel of ancient Greece, but again, you can’t help making comparisons with LOTR and Gandalf the Grey and Saruman when Neeson and Fiennes appear on the screen, confronted with the scorching, volcanic presence of Kronos. Even the usually captivating evil that the real-life, gentle Fiennes seems to offer up on tap – after Voldermort and other such characters – is sadly missing in this. It’s all rather camp in fact, with big names in tunic fancy dress. Oh, and just exactly why Kronos is so dangerous to gods and man is never fully realised too, in all the time it takes for his rocky presence to awaken.

Kebbell and Nighy provide the intentional comedy factor, but mumble off into the distance with their lines all the time, like sorry and forgotten Life of Brian extras. Pike provides the glamour and sense of purpose and strength – taken over from Alexa Davalos in the last film. Indeed, the choice of cast is a fitting one, but it just goes to show how a bad script can spoil an affair. However, Worthington, though a calming presence in the midst of visual bedlam, just falls short of the mark of being a convincing hero and worthy victor – he’s just too laid back to rally us together at the sound of the war cry, and it’s left to Pike/Andromeda’s leadership and determination in the battle scenes to get the juices flowing.

For all its obvious faults, Wrath is still highly entertaining though, because of the latter and the silliness and camp factor. It’s a lesson in producing effects for the even bigger IMAX screen too – and when is best and best not to use frenetic camerawork and choppy editing values. Expect an action-stuffed 3D extravaganza with very little subtext to it – minus eight-legged horses and double vision of the 2010 film, and you’ll come away with a smile on your face but strained eyeballs and a queasiness in the belly.

2/5 stars

By @FilmGazer

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StreetDance 2 (3D) **

Regardless of whether it’s a good film or not, StreetDance has its loyal fan base – paying punters – ready to flock to see the latest nimble starlets battling against the odds and demonstrating some astounding moves as their ammunition. Admittedly, whether you’re a fan or not, it’s always captivating for the length of each dance set piece – and we all know the outcome and who the victors in the dance-off will be. However, waiting to be dazzled by each routine is as painful and ugly an experience as getting corns on the feet.

In the 2012 film, after being humiliated by the crew and reigning champs Invincible, popcorn seller and street dancer Ash (Falk Hentschel) goes on a journey to recruit Europe’s best dancers of all persuasions for the world rematch. Along the way he gets introduced to salsa in Paris, under the charms of Eva (Sofia Boutella), the salsa queen at her uncle Manu’s (Tom Conti) club.

Predictability – dance cultures clash then unite to form something unique for the finale, while a ‘West Side Story’ style romance blossoms between members of the two rival groups – has to be excused with such a film: We know we’re watching a path to success. There’s also a healthy and infectious dose of competition to get behind, combined with hormones and sweaty, supple bodies.

However, the ‘acting’ (in the loosest possible terms) in between each routine is as dire as it gets: Eddie – former Britain’s Got Talent contestant George Sampson – returns, trying his hardest to be the lovable joker, but bouncing off wooden muscle man Ash, he simply comes across like an over-excitable puppy. Hentschel only really awakens from his trance in the arms of Boutella as sultry Eva. But the only thrilling non-dancing performance is given by Conti in a part not too dissimilar to Shirley Valentine’s Costas, camping it up to hide the non-existent script.

The film has a thrillingly energetic salsa-street music mix that warrants a second listen or download. That said StreetDance 2 (3D) generally feels like a collection of teen music videos tentatively strung together by clichéd lines – just take the fake-looking pillow fight in the hostel dorm, slow-mo-ed for full titillating effect.

As for the 3D, it disappointingly didn’t add much more to the movement and excitement of the dance: The routines are enough visual eye candy without necessarily adding new technology, but it didn’t detract from the entertainment either – unless you find the glasses a bad fit. As a piece of catchy pop culture, the StreetDance franchise has a natural buzz, licensed to thrill again with the latest edition, plus a great soundtrack – just don’t expect much more than awesome moves for your money.

2/5 stars

By @FilmGazer

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Tiny Furniture ****

Fresh emerging talent Lena Dunham is cinema’s female answer to Jesse Eisenberg, all self-depreciation, quirky awkwardness, acute observation and razor-sharp wit for the trendy crowd. Tiny Furniture, which she wrote and directed at the age of 23, is almost a semi-autobiographical look at the beginnings of post-graduate life, following on from her 2009 college days flick, Creative Nonfiction. This new feature film’s authentic feel will ring alarm bells as Dunham’s character Aura returns home to New York’s trendy Tribeca, and attempts to carve our a worthy existence after student life.

Native New Yorker Dunham instantly taps into the fears of many educated masses out there today, expected to deal with stepping out of the further education cocoon – where ideas and opinions are healthfully encouraged – and slot back into reality’s preconceived mould. However, Aura’s home life is one that feels as challenging as it is comforting, surrounded by success and driven female relatives, with her studious younger sister Nadine – Dunham’s actual little sister Grace – and renowned artist mother Siri (Laurie Simmons) who creates miniature furniture.

The film has no real sense of urgency, playing out like a pseudo documentary, and in turn, allowing us to be submerged in Aura’s timeless limbo. We get to know her attributes and her flaws, as well as her own insecurities in such a sparse setting – the latter being a running joke with the apartment’s many spurious cupboards that seem to hide away all homely comforts. The only human contact seems to come from snatched moments of hugging or sharing a bed with mum, sister or random strangers. There is another wonderfully comedic moment when Aura finds passion al fresco in a disused tube that sums up her spiralling sense of self-esteem and self-value.

What is a really interesting dynamic in the film is the sisters’ relationship, as though Aura resents that Nadine has her carefree college days ahead of her. This is particularly more intriguing as the Dunham sisters could be recreating real-life resentments within the context of a film. There is also a brilliant breakthrough performance by newcomer Jemima Kirke – a Piper Perabo look-alike – as Aura’s wild-child friend Charlotte who leads an equally dysfunctional and bohemian lifestyle. Aura, desperate to cling onto her irresponsible student days, uses Charlotte as a weapon to upset her household’s equilibrium. In a sense, none of Dunham’s characters are designed to be particularly ‘likeable’ – apart from Charlotte perhaps, and there is a selfish streak they all share. Here’s predicting big things for Kirke who embodies Charlotte with fearless aplomb.

The issues in Dunham’s Tiny Furniture could cut too close to the bone for some to watch in today’s times of austerity, ironically making it such a topical microcosm of emotions with the uncertainties ahead. The film speaks to anyone ‘waiting’ for their opportunity in life, sardonically pointing out the obstacles in the way in a glib but naïve manner. Dunham really is writing from truth, and the truth hurts to watch on the one hand while entertaining on the other. Dunham can be rest assured her own career path is set after this.

4/5 stars

By @FilmGazer

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